“My Next Life”

        MY NEXT LIFE

George Carlin (1937-2008)

I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work for 40 years untill you’re too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you’re generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then… you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in Spa-like conditions – Central heating, room service on tap, and then…

You finish off as an orgasm.

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