Why don’t you ever see Santa in the hospital? Because he has private elf care!
How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.
What do you call an elf that can sing and dance? Elfis.
Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.
What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less
Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.
What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.
How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle!
What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
What comes at the end of Christmas Day? The letter “Y!”
What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple!
What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.
In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas? EVERY year!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?
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